How do I join the NY Gooners?

This is a bit of a philosophical question. You join the NY Gooners by coming down to the Football Factory at Legends, where we drink and watch matches (not necessarily in that order, but yeah, pretty much in that order). Outside of that, there really is not much to the NY Gooners. You can join our Facebook page, which is a closed group where we harangue each other mercilessly. Simply request to join, then once we okay you, cut and paste the following questions and complete with your best answers. Unless you're a complete numpty, you'll be okey-dokeyed.

1) I love Arsenal because: 

2) Robin van Persie, Samir Nasri and Patrick Vieira walk into a bar. You have a gun with one bullet, a syphilitic monkey and enough money to buy one of them a drink. What do you do?

3) Oh my goodness, someone on the page just called you a dumbass and other assorted dirty words. How do you respond?

4) Will we ever see you at the bar? Be honest. 

5) Where did it all go wrong and who can save us? 

6) We all know that you should always be yourself. Except one day you discover that you can be Arsene Wenger. Should you be yourself or Arsene Wenger? 

7) Who is the worst person in football? Please try to be more creative than "Sepp Blatter" You numpty.